Skip to content Skip to footer

This Club Day, The Express decided to try something a little different.

Instead of covering the event in a straightforward manner, we gave the students attending the event a blank card, some privacy and a box to namelessly submit their innermost desires, fears and secrets.

Some chose to be funny. Some chose to be gross. Almost all chose to be interesting in one way or another.

We make no claims about the accuracy of these anonymous confessions. Some may be white lies, exaggerations or flat-out falsehoods. But, we will present them to you as they are— uncut and uncensored.

Here they are, the confessions of the students of Las Positas College.


“Once, I picked my nose.”

“We need cooler clubs.”

“As a typical ‘man’ I enjoy taking pictures of flowers.”

“This is NOT a confession. I just want to tell whoever is reading is reading this that you are strange people for wanting to know people’s confessions.”

“The Girl Holding the confession Box…”


“I’ve been bi-curious for ½ yr.”

“I’m weird.”

“I have always wanted to go zip lining to a exotic country.”

“I liked this guy in highschool we used to hang out all the time but now he has a girl friend of +1 year & I still like him…FML!”

“I still love my ex.”

“I’m way cooler then I look! Give me a chance!”

“I dance in the underwear isle at my work… Just because I can.”

“I once helped break into a public pool to skinny dip with friends.”

“I like Big booty Bitches.”

“”I used to be tickled until I peed when I was a child.”

“I’m only doing this because Katrina said to.”

“I like turtles.”

“I once set a field on fire with a flare.”

“I enjoy watersports…and I don’t mean swimming…”

“I confess that I have been in a threesome when I was 16.”

“I set fires to feel joy.”

“I played with barbies when I was young. I’m a boy, and I am straight. Lol.”

“I want to take over the world.”

“I was raped by a firefighter in my academy. I still love him.”

“I have held a grudge on my parents. My mom: for being negligent. My dad for leaving.”

“I have only read 2 Full Books in my life. I am 39 years old.”

“I once insulted an entire family of midgets.”

“I confess I don’t Bite….Hard.”

“I hate my job despite the fact that I make tons of money.”

“I hooked up with my best friend’s ex-wife in an empty classroom.”

“I’m a Brony.”

“I am adopted and my dad left me when I was in my mom’s tummy. I don’t know his name or what he looks like. I want to find out.”

“I love my best friend.”

“I think Yalda is CUTE!”

“Friends are never fully there for so why not fuck them over when they have for you.”

“Confession Girl Don’t Understand The Power of POTATOES.”

“Chemistry is way lamer than physics.”

“Katrina is CUTE.”

“Kutil is awesome.”

“No matter the distance my love will never change.”

“Obama is the worst president ever and ruining our country.”

“Smoking weed. It was a fun night!”

“We need people to come more manners regards of age.”

“When dating a guy he must have nice feet.”

“N.M.J. I would like to reposition you t0 the closet wall & have our faces meet in a feverish manner.”

“I love sex, weed & basketball and in that order.”

“I think I like tall girl so I cheated in the past. But I’m getting better Now.”

“I’m Batman! Shhh…”

“I once used a cucumber to practice sex.”

“I going into my third year at las po having failed almost all my classes and istill have no clue what I want to do.”

“I hate my crazy ex-Mother in Law.”

“I love Khurram Khakoo with all my heart. He is my future husband. We are going to have ten babies.”

“I like to masturbate in my Calculus Class.”

“I just miscarried.”

“I can’t stand people who walk slow.”

“I used to torture insects until I caught a praying mantis. Then I just enjoy other bugs getting eaten.”

“I pick my nose and wipe the boogers all around campus.”

“People think I’m busy all the time but really I’m a lazy piece of crap.”

“I light a pool on fire with paint thinner.”

“I was born a man, but I’m not one anymore.”

“I’m a womanizer!”

“When I was nine-years-old, I used to think that sharks live under the snow.”

“Sometimes I think we are so lousy that we don’t realize what living life means.”

“I am gorgeous!”

“Do not publish! I’m scared to be fat”

“I know a person who gives awesome birthday parties with his wife for his daughter who will be five on her next birthday.”

“I’m bisexual.”


“I hate college kids. OH and I can’t read or write.”

“I have never fallen in LOVE.”

“I made an online ‘who let the chow chows out’ video.”


“Marine’s are hot!”

“The Marine Calvin is gorgeous. Keep the marines coming to school!”

“Firemen are sexy <3”

“Firemen ARE SEXY! Love You.”

“Calvin is the sexiest marine on the planet! O wow! <3”

“Male-to-female Tran-sexuals are sexy.”

“I hate Math.”

“I’m Polish.”

“I like Potaloes.”

“I wet my bed until I was 10.”

“I started drinking when I was 14.”

“I met Santa Clause.”

“I love Pie.”

“I’m glad the 49ers Lost! And I have herpes…”

“I’m cooler than Roy.”

“I was the other Woman…not anymore. But it scares me sometimes that it may haunt me.”

“I have always tried to make others happy before myself…even at the expense of my health.”

“I love islanders…And I am Palayan… Lannette.”

“I watch MobWives.”


“I’m scared or People’s expectations.”

“I’m extremely insecure.”

“I am really shy and self conscious.”

“I am a Brony!! Hoofbump.”

“I love Natasha Hrycaj <3.”

“I’m in love with the star of the Girl’s Hawks B-Ball Team!”

“I don’t think I love my girlfriend anymore but I can’t tell her.”

“I cheated on my paleo diet.”

“I love sex.”

“I pee in the pool every swim practice.”

“I’ve eaten a tube of lipstick!”

“I got two tickets I never told my parents about.”

“It makes me happy when I see people cry.”

“I had a crush on My bestfriend.”

“I have an addiction and it is pizza.”

“I liked my teacher.”

“I want to have sex with my teacher. He’s so sexy.”

“I liked my teacher.”

“I want to date this girl named Leila.”

“I still have feelings for my ex.”

“I fall in love too easy with the wrong people.”

“In 8th grade I ran into a moving car (or it hit me, there’s still some confusion).”

“I’m really a woman. Nobody knows…yet.”

“Nothing is true, Everything is permitted. Ezio Auditore Assassin’s Creed”


“Confeshions of a Gamer To loud and I need to keep m personal problems at home on m computer.”

“Find a newgirl.”

“Sometimes I tell people I’m going to bed…but really I’m on Instagram.”

“I confess I’ll never find love again. ;( </3”

“Much man Love here @ LPC!”


“I once after a night of heavy drinking, shit the bed.”

“Fuck y’all.”

Show CommentsClose Comments

Leave a comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.