Uncategorized — 15 February 2017

By Greg Buckley @Gbucking

Love is like a box of chocolates. You just never know what you’re gonna get. Pretend to yourself that you didn’t say that in Forest Gump’s voice.

Online dating can bring an array of experiences. Some of them can be comically bad, while some of them can lead to the fields of Elysium.

The road to finding a relationship is filled with all sorts of obstacles. Even the best of hitters at their best are hitting 35 percent. That’s considered amazing in the world of baseball.

Overcoming the difficulties of dating, and maintaining a positive mental attitude can prove it’s worth its weight in gold. It’s why the spoils of war are divvied up at the end.

Julianna Camacho, 28, Stockton.

She stands 5’1” with midnight black curly hair that leads to her broad shoulders. Eyebrows that would be described as on fleek compliment her button nose.

A proud heavyset woman with two children ages seven and five. She had been on Bumble for three months.

“My friend told me about it, so I downloaded it,” Camacho said.

Bumble is similar to the swipe left or right that Tinder offers. The only difference is when you match with someone the woman is the one who has to send the first message.

She quit using Bumble after a couple dates. Some of them good, but the one that stands out most is her first.

“All I said was Hi. He replied that I had a pretty smile, which I don’t, but it was nice,” Camacho said.

They conversed for the next two hours. Message after message. Exchanging compliments, phone numbers, and even facetiming.

After a couple of days they felt it was time to meet. They both liked to drink and decided to meet over them.

They agreed to meet at a Taquiera which serves Micheladas, which is a beer cocktail served in a goblet topped off with prawns that could pass for small lobsters.

“He showed up 25 minutes early and started texting me non-stop,” Camacho said.

Overwhelmed with anxiety she thought maybe she shouldn’t even go anymore. “This guy could kill me” were ideas populating in her head.

When she pulled up, and got out of her car she didn’t see him. Calling him right away he picked up and asked where she was.

“I think I’m right in front of your car,” Camacho said.

They had parked right in front of each other. Until this moment they had only ever seen close up shots of each other’s faces.

“He was a lot shorter than he claimed to be, and by saying that he told me he was 6”, and in reality he was 5’7,” Camacho said.

Her date showed frustrations as well. He mentioned a few times she was a little bigger than what she had claimed.

During one of their late night conversations leading up to their first date he had asked her what was her most attractive trait was that draws guys into her was. She replied it was her booty.

“He had told me that it looked like two air bags had gone off in my backside,” Camacho said.

Having eaten prior to the date, which was something suggested by her friend she decided to just stick with drinks, and he did the same.

“We kind of just looked at each other until the drinks came. It was awkward because I’m pretty sure he farted. Like I’m not even joking,” Camacho said.

When the drinks came the mood started to lighten up a little bit. The alcohol entering their system sparked the conversation bug.

He was more focused on why she never told him about her weight, and she was more focus on just trying to have a good time.

“I knew this was going to be the only date, but I wanted to have fun at least. Laugh and at this point if it was on his expense I was down.”

She started making jokes about his height. Causing him to get irate and start claiming that it was a mistake on the websites behalf.

Switching topics he mentioned to her how his favorite part about this drink is saving the two prawns until after he had finished his drink.

The idea that would rescue this date from the horror you see from a Stephen King thriller, and turn it into an Adam Sandler comedy form.

Camacho said, “He had to pay for not being a gentleman. I felt as if I was representing more than just my pride, and more so the pride of all beautiful ladies”.

Needing a moment alone with his prawns is what she needed.

It finally came. After the check was split he needed to go to the bathroom.

The split second he veered around the corner she grabbed both of his prawns with one swipe, and with one fluid motion they were in her mouth.

“One of the workers was looking at me like I was crazy,” Camacho said.

Managing to swallow both of them before he came. He sat down with a puzzled face.

“I was holding back, but I wanted to scream with laughing. When he asked where his shrimps were I had to tell him with a straight face I didn’t know”, she said.

The control only lasted for a few moments more before she began uncontrollably laughing and admitting to eating them.

It was so funny that same worker started laughing as well.

He was so upset he laughed, and then got up and walked out without saying a word.

The date was finally over. It ended on her terms.

She still texts him randomly during her bored moments. Ironically it’s the shrimp emojis. He still hasn’t responded.

Tara Wilson, 29, Tracy,
Match.com

She stands 5’3”. Body size described as athletic according to her profile. Her eyes are comparable to melting green and blue marbles together, and then mixing a little bit of golden brown to finish it off.

Skin so soft she could have slept in lotion up to this point. A softer shade of light brown, and is the kind you wonder if she was born in a caramel factory.

Her subtle creole accent hypnotizes you as you stare into her eyes.

“In the back of my mind I thought it was a possibility that I may just be that single friend forever,” Wilson said.

It started all on Match.com, a website that boots the highest percentage of marriages as compared to all others.

She decided to go with Match, because of the commercials on T.V.

“They truly seemed happy,” Wilson said.

Being happy was enough for her. For the next couple of weeks she was overwhelmed by the influx of messages she was receiving daily. On some days she was receiving upwards of 50 messages before lunch.

“I wasn’t reading all of them. I just started reading the ones that I thought sounded sincere,” Wilson said.

That was until her now fiancé first contacted her. Sending shock waves no one else up to that had.

“I’m incredibly shy and at times I feel it gets in my way. I have decided to get out of my comfort zone. You are incredibly, superbly gorgeous, and I feel as if that is just a fraction of the beauty actually going on inside of you. I would like to talk to you and at the veryleast just find out how your day was today,” he said.

From there they emailed each other back and forth on Match for months. They decided there was no need in rushing. Everything would be a calculated stepping-stone.

“It never bothered me. His emails were very long in length, but contained so much thought I would read it more than once. Most of them made me laugh,” Wilson said.

At some point they knew they had to meet in person. A huge hurdle stood in their way. He lived in Salt Lake City.

Trying to plan a trip came with complications. Both worked full time and either one were busy while the other wasn’t.

It wasn’t until her upcoming birthday that she demanded he visit. Her family was throwing a party, and she asked for him to come.
This was a tipping point for their relationship. It had been a year already, and although they had not physically seen each other the roots of an emotional tie had took hold.

“When I asked him to come his answer was very short and direct. He told me he couldn’t go. I felt as if I was falling in love with him, but this made me feel like it would never be,” Wilson said.

As the party inched forward she noticed her older sisters, who would always be in her business suddenly acting quiet. The night of the party her sisters were supposed to pick her up.

“I was texting and calling and no one answered me back”, she said

There was a knock on the door. Rushing to answer it because she was already late for her own party.

“When she opened the door she was ten times as beautiful then what I ever imagined”, he said

“He was standing with a bouquet of flowers in his hand,” Wilson said

Amazed at who was standing there she began to weep with joy. He brought her in for hug, and held her until she pulled away and asked why he didn’t tell her.

From there they jumped into a rented limousine. Reserved for two. Over the next two hours they drove around the streets of San Francisco. Talking, laughing, and admiring each other like they had dreamed.

They eventually made it to her party, but things were now different.

Fast-forward to today. They now live together in Tracy. Happily engaged. They have a cat named salt, and enjoy going grocery shopping but not buying anything.

They plan on getting married sometime next spring. They won’t be having an ordinary wedding, as they will get married in Italy. Anyone is invited, but it’s on your dime.

“Other than God he is truly the love of my life,” Wilson said.

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