A nice full body massage is foreplay that, in my experience, usually leads to sex.
Foreplay can and should start long before you go into the bedroom. Per Merriam-Webster dictionary, foreplay has two definitions, 1. Definition of foreplay: 1: erotic stimulation preceding sexual intercourse 2: action or behavior that precedes an event.
Note: Since I am a heterosexual male this column talks about a male dating a woman but the results can be the same for any couple.
Foreplay is to raise sexual tension. “Foreplay is the mental build-up of arousal in which you and your partner start to feel sexual tension,” says sex educator Yael Rosenstock Gonzalez. “Foreplay creates time for the desire to build, which increases pleasure for when you do start sexing.” Foreplay can be as simple as how you treat your date. Foreplay can include texting or just talking.
Many say chivalry is dead but I find that women respond positively to acts that many considered chivalry. Little things like opening doors for them, letting them go ahead of you when there is not enough room to walk side by side, bringing your date flowers or a box of candy are all examples of chivalry that can be considered parts of foreplay. I dated one woman who was excited when we went on her lead. She said that no men had ever let her lead previously.
Asking a woman out on a date to “just hang out” does not seem to often work. Women seem to prefer you put some thought and planning into a date. When I ask my wife out for a date I always make sure to suggest an activity or restaurant but she has veto power and can select another activity or restaurant.
Flirting is part of foreplay. Talking, holding hands, touching one’s hand, kissing or even texting can be part of foreplay. Making out in the car can be good foreplay. Even going parking is a good way of starting foreplay.
One of the best foreplay activities is a massage. The massage can be a full body massage or something as simple as a foot massage. For a massage, a massage table is best as the table is sturdy and also easy to walk around so you can massage all parts of the body without reaching over the person to do the massage. Used massage tables can be found on Craigslist or Facebook marketplace.
However, if one does not want to spend the money on a massage table then a bed, table or even the floor can be used. Just make sure the surface can hold the person’s weight. Nothing spoils the mood like the table collapsing mid massage.
Massage oil or massage cream should be used to reduce friction on the person’s skin but other oils can be used. I have heard people using coconut oil, jojoba oil, sunflower oil or almond oil.
Some women really like foot massages. My stepdaughter decided her then-boyfriend was a keeper when he gave her a long foot massage, they are now married. One hint is to clean any oil off her feet after the massage to prevent falling with slippery feet or staining the floor.
Another form of foreplay is the hint of sex. Sexting can be very fun and set the tone for a later date. Sending private photos can also be foreplay, however, be careful and remember that texts and photos can have a long life on the internet and can be forwarded to people you may not have intended. The text or photo does not have to be explicit; One suggestion is to send only a photo of part of your body, so you cannot be recognized. Make sure you trust the person you sext or send sexy photos of.
When you are away from your partner or date letting them know that you miss them can be a form of foreplay. You can also let them know what you want to do with them when you see them. “I can’t wait to feel your lips on mine” is not explicit but gets the message across.
A book, 101 Nights of Great Sex, is a book I have used as part of foreplay. The book has envelopes that you open with the date idea. Laura Corn, the author is big on teasing and anticipation to set the mood. Several of her ideas have you leave hints on Monday with the finale on the weekend. I have used some of the ideas in this book and most of them have been successful as part of foreplay.
Another act of foreplay is in the song Sixty Minute Man by Billy Ward and his Dominos. This song is from 1951, even older than me. The song lyrics tell about 15 minutes of kissing, 15 minutes of teasing, 15 minutes of squeezing and 15 minutes of blowing my top. Using the steps in the lyrics has always worked for me and my date.
How to seduce your partner to get in the mood can be different for each person but the techniques I have discussed have worked for me. Seduction is the first part of foreplay.
Alan Lewis is the photo editor of The Express. Follow him @AlanLew89343503.